What is self discipline? It starts with the ability to control your behavior. This means motivating yourself to do the things you need to do, and stopping yourself from doing things that are bad for you. “Ability to control” is just the start, though. Real discipline is when you have trained your mind in such way that you consistently get the behavior you want. Self discipline may appear to be a problem of willpower. “Willpower,” however, has connotations of just pushing ourselves harder to do things, even when we feel miserable, or fighting temptations. This is a good recipe for stress and disappointment, but there are better ways to a disciplined life.
1. Notice the rewards of self discipline. The more you see the benefits, the more you’ll be motivated to continue the useful behaviors.
2. Ask for help. If you can’t stop whining, for example, have friends point out when you’re doing it.
3. Reward yourself. Set behavioral goals and reward yourself for their completion. A writer, for example, could decide to write 20 pages per day, and reward himself when he reaches this goal.
4. Imagine the consequences of your useful and damaging behaviors. When you are tempted towards damaging behavior, see all the possible results, and be vivid in your imaginings. Give yourself a good scare, if you have to. When you are trying to get to work, see all the future rewards that are possible.
5. Relax. Willpower is low when you’re stressed, so close your eyes and take three deep breaths.
6. Note the causes of your temptations, and deal with them. Boredom can lead to all sorts of stupid ways to find “excitement,” for example. Quickly getting involved in something productive and interesting can make temptations disappear. Look for underlying causes, and change what you can change.
